Jin Jin Chubby Butt!

This blog is dedicated to you my Chubby Jin Jin.

This is probably the last blog I'm going to directly write to you, and I will take my time to write them.

Even though we had a lot of drama in our relationship, it meant everything to me for the last four and a half months. I understand tonight was a really tough night for us, and I just wanted to thank you for showing me that you love me. It's not easy to open yourself up to someone and fall in love with them, just like it's not easy to write these words down. My heads still pounding, but it's not as severe as three hours ago.

I've been watching "Paris Hilton's: My New BFF" for a while now to get my mind off what just happened between us. I don't want to give you that cliche speech about how great of a guy you are and how lucky your future boyfriend(s) are to have you, but I can't leave that out. You really are someone special. You're like a gem I found in the bottom of the ocean, or a meteorite that fell down from the sky. Life still feels very surreal as I'm writing this to you. I've grown to be dependent on your love, and now it's no longer here.

Thank you for the last four months. I'll never forget it. Along with that being said, I'll never forget the promises I made you either. The main obsticle that we face daily is distance. On top of that, we have conflicting schedules, and it makes everything harder to maintain a healthy relationship. I know you want to go back to two weeks ago when things weren't so rocky, and we were still very affectionate to each other, but you always have to look forward to make the best of things.

I know you gave me your heart, and I took good care of it until tonight. I'm sorry that I let you down. I've been trying to end things for awhile now, but I was caught up in the fear of hurting you. I made a realization tonight that even though I'm trying to protect you from the truth, I'll hurt you even more if I prolonged this relationship. I will always care for you, and I hope you would take care of yourself.

I didn't want to talk to you after the break up because it's far too soon to talk. I know all we do is talk and breaking up and continue talking seems pretty senseless to me. I know you never had a chance with any of your ex-boyfriends to talk after a relationship, and I don't want you to lose hope in being friends with me because of that. You're not different from anyone else, but maybe you met the wrong guys to become ex-boyfriends with. Maybe we're closing one chapter and opening up another chapter into our lives. Just because we're apart now doesn't mean we won't meet up in the future.

And lastly, please don't do anything harmful to yourself. You mean a great deal to me, and it would devastate me if anything happens to you because of me. I know hurt you emotionally, but I just don't think the timing and setting are right for either of us. If there are times when you are depressed or need to talk then you know who where I am. I hope I could help you heal the wound that I inflicted onto you. I don't expect you to forgive me or even to forget what I did to you, but try to move on. This is our last night together, and I'm going to say this one last time. Good night, sweet dreams, and I love you. Take care of yourself chubby. Nha nha.